Examine What You Tolerate

You are not a punching bag for anyone’s anger or aggression.  It’s unacceptable  to talk down to another human being with anger, a raised voice, or with intimidating body language.  It doesn’t matter how bad your day, your job, your calendar, or your life is at that moment, there are no excuses, especially when unprovoked or when trying to resolve a misunderstanding.
 
Why do we put up with this behavior from those closest to us?  Because we fear retaliation, isolation, and escalation.  We don’t want to step out of our cozy, comfortable place where we are seeking peace and neutrality in life, so we “tolerate” it in order to avoid further conflict; therefore, allowing the abuser to always be in control and continue the behavior.
 
It is Emotional Abuse when a boss, coworker, child, spouse, partner, friend, or parent yells at, insults, or talks down to another individual in an attempt to exert control, belittle, or reprimand that person.  Emotional abuse can be as damaging to the psyche as any other form of abuse and should never be tolerated.
 
The definition of Emotional Abuse:  Emotional Abuse Reference
 
Any act including confinement, isolation, verbal assault, humiliation, intimidation, infantilization, or any other treatment which may diminish the sense of identity, dignity, and self-worth.
 
Emotional abuse is also known as “psychological abuse” or as “chronic verbal aggression”.  People who suffer from emotional abuse tend to have very low self-esteem, show personality changes, (such as becoming withdrawn) and may even become depressed, anxious, or suicidal.
 
Emotional Abuse symptoms vary, but can invade any part of a person’s life.  Signs of emotional abuse include:
 
  • Yelling or swearing (read about: Emotional Bullying)
  • Name calling or insults; mocking
  • Threats and intimidation
  • Ignoring or excluding
  • Isolating
  • Humiliating
  • Denial of the abuse and blaming of the victim
 
No one should allow themselves to be a victim of any of these behaviors and if you are a victim, you need to remove yourself from the toxic relationship, or if in the workplace or school, take action by seeking the appropriate guidance from your counselor or human resources department.
 
The person being emotionally abusive may not be aware that is what they are doing and could simply need education and guidance to redirect their anger or aggression.  I believe that someone with the best of intentions can use these inappropriate maneuvers.  Regardless of the intention from the person dishing out these toxic behaviors, it is up to you (the victim) to take action and control of the situation in order to prevent further abuse and subsequent damage from taking place.  Examine what you tolerate, because what you allow, will be what continues.

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